It would seem that Apple’s latest product, the iPhone 4, has run into a spot of bother. A number of issues have come to light, the most serious being a reduction in signal strength when the phone is held in a particular way.
Apple initially responded by giving guidelines about the best way to hold it, but this did little to assuage criticism, and some customers have gone so far as to take legal action against the company.
It always amazes me how huge corporations can sell technology that’s below par, given the huge amounts of money they spend on the development and testing of their products. How could a company such as Microsoft come up with the Millennium and Vista operating systems? How could something as fundamental as signal strength not have been fully tested by Apple’s technicians?
One way of understanding the issue is to use astrology. The iPhone 4, like you and me, has a birth chart. It’s the moment that it was launched into the world.
The official launch of the iPhone 4 happened in a number of countries, and as far as I can see, the first official sale was in Japan, at around 8.00 am on June 24 2010. I’ll therefore set up a horoscope for this time and date, set for Tokyo.
It’s a very simple horoscope. If you’re launching a communication device, you must make sure that Mercury, the planet of communication, is in a good position. On the surface it’s well placed, being in Gemini, the sign of its rulership. However Mercury is making a stressful, 90-degree aspect to Saturn, the planet of blockage and frustration. This is very serious, and it perfectly describes the signal problem that many users are experiencing.
An important feature in any horoscope is the Moon. It’s in Sagittarius, which is appropriate for such a launch – after all, Sagittarius is the sign of long-distance travel, and is often connected with communication. Unfortunately the Moon is applying to a 90-degree aspect with Mars, the planet of conflict and aggravation. Mars is ruler of the Ninth House, a house which astrologers sometimes connect with law courts, so that fits the legal issues that Apple are potentially facing.
The Mercury-Saturn and Moon-Mars aspects are serious, and the iPhone 4 should not have been launched under their influence. Yet one wonders if Apple consulted an astrologer before choosing the launch date. This was an important event, and to me it would be amazing if astrological factors weren’t considered. And I think just about any beginner astrologer would reach the same conclusions as me.
The company spends millions and millions on their product, yet it seems likely that astrological considerations were discounted. Yet for seventy-seven dollars they could have consulted me, for example. If that was too much money, they could have used the ‘Ask Archie‘ feature, and got a brief opinion for free. Launch in haste, regret at leisure!
Copyright © 2010 Archie Dunlop
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hilarious!
$77 could have saved Apple!
Imagine Apple technicians coming to Ask Archie and asking whether now is a good time to launch the new i-Phone. For free, no less. Imagine them further to take up your recommendation to the head of Sales; “No, Archie says we need to wait until Mercury is in good position!” Come on, Archie, you’re kidding!
Serena
Serena,
Well obviously I am kidding, in the sense that I don’t expect a company such as Apple to consult an astrologer. Though it does seem pretty obvious that you don’t launch a communications device when Mercury is applying to a square with Saturn.
There is of course a higher level issue, in the sense that the iPhone 4 had a design problem, and whatever day you launched it, this problem couldn’t be magically fixed. So in this sense the launch date was fated – the iPhone was drawn to June 24, and in order for the chart to match the product, the forces of fate made sure (I assume) that no astrologer was consulted.
Is Jobs a billionaire? As JP Morgan famously quipped, millionaires don’t use astrology, billionaires do.
Apparently Ford finds astrology relevant :
http://straight-six.com/blog/?p=3203
Yep, I can’t see Jobs consulting any astrologer, either!! Back in the late 1990’s I was at an astrology convention in FL..a lady there was an astrologer for McDonald’s!!! BUT when ownership changed hands, or someone was fired, or whatever, they let her go…..I never had a chance to speak with her, unfortunately, as I’d loved to have known what, exactly, did she do for them; time launch dates of new products? that’s about all I could see her doing…but who knows…..also, another famous astrologer was hired for the launch date of Jif Peanut Butter and a new version of Duncan Hines cake mix, way back when; he even had handouts of the minutes of his meeting with the board members when he made his presentation!!! so, some companies are ‘with it’ when it comes to using astrology for their products!!! But whether or not other companies do it, or would even admit it, is another story!!!
Ben,
Thanks for that. I suppose McDonalds is easy, as they are doing so many launches and promotions, and maybe store openings. Lots of times to elect. In the case of Apple, if I remember rightly the corporation has got an excellent horoscope, certainly good enough to be an election.
Having said that, I’m weary of astrologers who talk about their clients. If you’re an astrologer for McDonald’s, should you really be bragging about it? And someone showing the minutes of a meeting in an astrological presentation? Would a corporate lawyer do the same thing at a lawyer’s conference? Wouldn’t the astrologer be breaking his code of ethics, unless he’s got the company’s permission?
Perhaps your examples show why companies don’t hire astrologers… of why they hire astrologers who’ll keep their mouths shut.